Recently, while I was in the salon getting a cut and highlights, my daughter-in-law needed to bring me an item while she was in that area of town. Since she had both children in the car, I told her I would meet her at the salon door. Wearing a long, black smock and with my hair enclosed in many folded pieces of foil that were standing straight up on top of my head, I appeared to be auditioning for a part in a science fiction movie!
Nevertheless, I ignored the stunned look on the receptionist’s face as I opened the salon door and stepped out just far enough for Jill to receive the hand off without leaving her children unattended. At first, I heard two little excited voices squealing, “Mimi, Mimi!” at the top of their lungs. But then, as the four year old rolled her window all the way down, enabling both girls to get a better look at me, their voices fell strangely silent.
The looks on their faces turned to fear and horror. I’m sure their little minds were clueless as to what had transformed their grandmother into the “Mimi Monster!” Fortunately, a few hours later, I emerged from the salon looking like a totally different woman. I had, however, created some turmoil in the process.
I have had plenty of experience at being “a work in progress” and here are some insights I have gleaned along the way.
We need to be discerning about who we expose to the disillusioning, confusing and less than becoming parts of our “process.”
My young granddaughters became disillusioned, confused, and frightened because they weren’t able to comprehend the process I was going through. We need to be wise in selecting those to whom we expose our process of change. Some are not ready for it!
I frequently hear people say, “We should be able to share any temptation or weakness with which we are struggling with the church as a whole and expect to be encouraged, not judged.” That is unrealistic. People attending any given church gathering can fall into one of many categories. Perhaps the person with whom you are sharing your struggles is a seeker, but not a believer - or, maybe you are exposing your “process” to a young, immature Christian who will misunderstand and draw inaccurate conclusions about you or God.
At the moment my granddaughters saw me, I did not appear to be in the hands of an excellent stylist, but I was – she is one of the best! I appeared to have turned into a monster, but I hadn’t. It is quite a different thing to share your process once it has past and others can see the result as well.
People are at various stages of development as God moves them “from faith to faith” and “glory to glory.” It is naïve to believe that every person along your path is going to fully understand or appreciate your “process.” Ask God to lead you to the people who can relate to you in what you are going through. Ask Him to guide you to those who might contribute effective counsel, guidance, and prayer at this stage in your journey. Most importantly, make sure that they are confidential!
Having done that, also realize the limitations of the assistance and encouragement of others during your “process.” It cheered me up to see my daughter-in-law and granddaughters, but the success of my outcome was actually in the hands of my stylist. I needed more than encouragement - I needed skill! I needed the skilled and experienced hands of my stylist to move me from where I was when they saw me to where I would be when I left the salon. My stylist alone knew how long I needed to keep the chemicals on my hair.
It is good to give and receive encouragement, but never forget that Proverbs 14:10 in the NLT says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.” This verse explains the limitations of the human heart to completely comprehend the bitterness or joy of another.
David was definitely a work in progress and understood that ultimately, God alone was the One who would actually meet his expectations and needs.
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him” (Psalm 62:5 NKJV).
Whatever area of your life is now “a work in progress,” be encouraged!
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6 NKJV).
©2009 Lauren Fletcher all rights reserved
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Week 2: Just One More Mile
I am a romantic at heart and love flowers, candy, and a happy ending as much as anyone. Having said that, my husband recently reminded me of an experience we had while dating that I had NEVER put in the romantic category - until now. I can’t remember what jogged his memory, but something recently reminded him of a date we had in Jackson, Mississippi, over 30 years ago. We were listening to a local radio station when the DJ invited everyone to drive by and see the station Christmas tree with lights synchronized to the music they were playing. This DJ issued the invitation between every song and had me convinced that the Christmas tree was on the scale of the tree at the White House, but better.
Hal had absolutely no interest in seeing the tree. I, on the other hand, thought it would be fun and persisted that we try to find it. Before the days of GPS and cell phones, we drove - and drove - and drove. Each time he appealed to me to call off the search, I was so disappointed he would concede to drive just one more mile. His diligence paid off and after probably close to an hour of driving and searching, we saw “the tree.” It consisted of two wires on top of the station which met at an angle and gave the illusion of a Christmas tree - (if you have a really good imagination and had been told repeatedly that is what it was). On each wire were 3 or 4 blinking lights. Hal did not even slow down as we passed it.
I was so disappointed and angry that my imagined romantic moment of seeing this magnificent tree together had disappeared before my very eyes. What I didn’t realize then was that it hadn’t. My husband reminded me the other day that he kept driving one more mile to find something he had no interest in seeing - for my sake. I don’t remember either one of us being even slightly amused at the time, but it is one of those experiences that is really funny, now.
Laughing about that date reminded me that it is the journey together, not the destination, that characterizes true love. Like the DJ on the radio, actors often entice us with an unrealistic illusions. Real romance is the willingness and effort we put forth in continuing to go just one more mile with someone - even when it is not comfortable, convenient, or easy.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Three things will last forever-- faith, hope, and love-- and the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 NLT).
(Words from 1 Corinthians 13 in bold font do not appear in bold in the NLT - emphasis added by me.)
According to the Bible, love is a process of self denial that meets the needs of others.
In Hal’s case, it was a reluctant process.
There is no doubt that roses, chocolate, and butterflies in the stomach are desirable, but what if you don’t have that special someone in your life right now? Or, what if your special someone isn’t acting so special to you at the moment?
The Bible says we are to go one more mile …
And, remember - God is not asking us to do something for others He hasn’t already done for us.
“… I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you” (Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV).
You are loved! I encourage you to make your Valentine’s Day plans with the Christ like intention of going one more mile with someone.
©2009 Lauren Fletcher all rights reserved
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Week 3: Robbers in Heaven?
